Lena’s Journey

This morning it’s about 45 degrees here in Southeast Texas.  The sun is shining, the windchimes are tinkling, a slight breeze caresses the few leaves remaining on the trees… and the squirrels are AT PLAY.  Corey and Tigger have been anxiously awaiting one of the little furry tail creatures to step into their yard so they can then chase them out.  There’s this one little guy who seems a bit braver than all the others.  He will get on top of the wooden fence and yell and chatter and shake his tail at Tigger.  She’s in her “get-the-squirrel” position.  She’s also shivering because it’s a bit nippy out there.  So imagine this little dog who’s crouched down really low, head pointed toward Mr. Squirrel, but her whole body is shivering.  Now, to be fair to her and possibly not embarrass her, I could tell you that she’s not “shivering”, but rather she’s just so anxious and tense that she’s “quivering” with excitement and it’s taking all her doggy power to remain in that one spot.  After a few seconds, she can’t stand it any more and she charges the fence and barks.  Mr. Squirrel, King of the Fence, just looks down at her like “you idiot mutt, I know you can’t jump this high.  Save your breath!”  Alas, the joy I get from watching this daily routine is wonderful.  (either that, or I’m a REALLY boring person who gets her jollies by watching my dog and a squirrel do their dance.)  I’ll go with the prospect that I’m deep enough to be able to find pleasure in something so simple.  (That sounds good, eh?).

I’m in a really good place, my buddies.  This is the longest I’ve ever been on a “diet” (but we’re not calling it that) and I’m still going strong.  At least in my thinking and my desire to keep going.  I’ve had triumphs and failures.  But the key thing, this time, is that with all your help (especially Jennifer, Shanna & Tina), I’m reprogramming my all or none thinking.  If I mess up for a day or two, no big deal!  This has become ingrained in my beany head and it’s finally starting to take over to the point where I actually believe it.  I have a better understanding of how my body works.  What foods work, what portions, what calorie intake… and all that jazz.  It’s been trial and error - it still is and always will be.  But I’m establishing an excellent foundation for the rest of my life. 

This time, God is the center of my journey.  He’s like a beacon.  I’m like a homing pigeon, always returning to Him when I struggle.  I used to never get down on my knees to pray.  I’ve realized, I have to be humble before Him and totally submit this journey to him.  And it’s made all the difference in the world.  He knows I’m not perfect.  *I* know I’m not perfect.  So we’re in a very good, peaceful and happy place together.

This morning, as I was reading my daily devotional, I was struck by how God works.  Today’s devotional was talking about Eve:  “Eve was typical of us all, and we consistenly show we are her descendants by repeating her mistakes.  Our desires, like Eve’s can quite easily be manipulated.  They are not the best basis for actions.  We need to keep God in our decision-making process always.  His Word, the Bible, is our guidebook in decision making.”  This really stood out to me and how it applies to my decisions on eating/bingeing, etc.  When I feel weak, I seek Him and he helps.  All I have to do is ask.

One of the things I like about this site is that we are free to express ourselves completely and without fear of judgement.  We are all on different “plans”… but what’s neat is that we all support each other, however we’re trying to lose weight.   I really appreciate and love all my buddies.  Thanks for listening to my morning ramblings! 

You know the famous motto… BE PREPARED.  I’m finding out that I’m *much* more successful with staying on track when I’m prepared.  Things like, making sure I always have healthy stuff to eat, making sure my pups pick up all their toys that litter my exercise area (in front of the t.v.), logging my food and exercise, etc. 

When I stay one step ahead of my “diet”, I do better.  I don’t cheat.  What I’ve been doing is getting tomorrow’s meals ready in the evenings.  Tonight, after I did my 2 miles with Leslie, I fixed the coffee pot, washed my to-go cup, unpacked my lunch bag, washed all the dishes, put my ice pack thingie in the freezer to re-freeze, picked out which lean cuisine I’m gonna have, poured the milk for my cereal in it’s container (I take it to work), got my yogurt and my apples in the fridge next to my milk, got the lunch bag opened up and set out on the kitchen counter and got my vitamins all together and put in the lunch bag.  So, see?  I’m all ready for tomorrow.  It makes me feel better and makes me less stressed in the mornings when I’m usually rushing to get out the door.  Do I earn a badge?

So, been emailing one of my buddies about my food journal and I’m hoping she’ll have some suggestions for me.  I seem to eat more than 50% carbs every day.  Today, after I logged all my food, carbs came out to 61%!!!!!!!!!  Definitely need to reduce those.  I tried Atkins once for 8 months.  Only lost 19lbs, so the anti-carb movement didn’t work for me.  But I DO see that I need more protein.  I’m gonna work on that.

Tigger and Corey still haven’t picked up their toys for tonight, so I guess I’ll go do that.  Need to figure out how to get them to clean up and put everything back in their toy box.  They had a really funny running fit around the back yard a few mins ago.  Tigger looks like a little gazelle when she runs and leaps… cracks me up!  She’s the epitome of grace!  Corey will chase her for a couple of laps, but his excitement gets the better of him and he just has to go DIG.  So mama (that’s me) has to yell “Corey!!!!!  No!  BAD!”  He doesn’t like “BAD”.  He hangs his wee little head and gives me that “surely you don’t mean it, Mama?  I mean, I was just scratching the dirt here a little.  See?  It’s only 18 inches deep.”  So when he gives me that look, I have to hug him and tell him that even though he’s so adorable, he should really stop digging in the yard.  Makes it hard to mow.  

Y’all have a great evening and a WONDERFUL Wednesday!!!  XOxoxoxoxoxoxoxo………..