Lena’s Journey

After work today, I had to go to the mall here in Pasadena.  It leaves a lot to be desired.  I haven’t been there in ages because they were having a problem with gangs and general bad crap like that.  But this mall houses the shop I needed to go to.  So on the way home from work, I called mom to see if she wanted to go with me (and she could bring her 9mm… giggle)… they say to travel in groups.  Mom said yes, so I swing by and pick her up.  We get to the mall and go into Sears because I wanted to sniff the treadmills (I’m about to be in the market for a new one), so figured… hey, here’s Sears… they have treadmills… let’s go look.  Anyway.  Sears isn’t the store I went there for.  But I still tried out a couple of treadmills. 

Mom and I make our way into the mall, ever aware of our surroundings.  We go to Things Remembered (the store I needed to go to) so I can pick up a retirement gift for one of my co-workers.  As we’re walking out, mom says “I wonder if that good pretzel place is still in the mall.”  I gave her my “surely you jest, mother” look.  And she said “I could *really* use one of those pretzels with cinnamon.”  So, off we went in search of THE pretzel place.  It was still there.  Mom said she wanted a cinnamon pretzel and a sesame seed pretzel (one for now, one for tomorrow).  Oh, and go ahead and get two cinnamon - one for grandma.  <sigh>  Here I go up to the counter.  I salivatingly (is that a word?) place the order.  We wait while the girl rolls out the fresh dough, beats it on the pretzel counter (beats?), then does this toss-twirl-flip-and-a-twist thing and pops it into the pretzel oven.  5 minutes later, out comes the warm, steaming, freshly baked HUGE pretzels.  She then coats them with butter and dips two in the cinnamon and one in the sesame seeds.  She waves to me that they’re ready.  I go get them, pay, and we leave.  Mom asks me if I want her to carry them.  I told her no because I cannot be controlled by a pretzel. 

Victory #2 - mom asked me to run through Whataburger to get grandma a Whataburger Jr. meal.  I did.  I did not get anything for Lena. 

We get home, I have a bowl of Kashi cereal, an apple and some grapes.  And I’m perfectly satisfied.

Each day, I become a little bit stronger in my resolve.  I’m not saying I’ll never fall again, because I know I will.  But these small victories are really huge for me.  Please, no bad comments about mom and how she should be supportive.  She’s very supportive.  But I have to learn how to separate my desires from hers and how I don’t have to go along with her in every situation.  I’m looking at these times as challenges. 

This morning on the radio, I heard a song about moving a mountain one stone at a time.  This is how I’m viewing my weight-loss journey this time.  Each pound is one stone for me.  If I can remove a stone, or even a pebble from my mountain, then the mountain doesn’t seem so insurmountable all at once.

So, I’ll say it again.  You’re not the boss of me, pretzel.  Even with your warm, steamy, inviting smell… I’m not letting you control my life. 

Happy Friday Buddies!  Life is good for me right now.  It’s great, in fact.  Last weekend was my birthday and I didn’t gain even .2 of a pound!  And today when I got on the scale, I’m down 2 pounds for a total of 37 lost!  I’m so excited!  I have been taking it slow… still eating mostly whole foods (which I’m beginning to love and crave).  I did have a pice of key lime pie on my birthday!  But I had saved up for that… lol!  I’m now only 12 pounds from my mini-goal of 250.  It’s been more than 10 years since I was less than 250lbs. 

This is just a short note to you all… Hugs to all my buddies - especially Jennifer, Shanna, Haley and my new buddy Rae!!

I love you gals!